What makes men cheat?

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    Persephone
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    What makes men cheat?

    Post by Persephone on Sun 01 Mar 2009, 22:23

    What makes men cheat? Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity. including what cheating men say could have prevented them from straying.

    -48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated. So much for the myth that for men, cheating is all about physical intimacy: Only 8 percent of men said that physical dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity. "Our culture tells us that all men need to be happy is to have physical intimacy with someone, but men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right." The problem is that men are less likely than women to express these feelings, so you won't always know when your guy is in need of a little affirmation. "Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked, "But you can create a marital culture of appreciation and thoughtfulness -- and once you set the tone, he's likely to match it."

    -66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair. The implications are a little scary: It isn't just uncaring jerks who cheat. In fact, 68 percent of cheaters never dreamed they'd be unfaithful, and almost all of them wished they hadn't done it. Clearly, guilt isn't enough to stop a man from cheating. Men are good at compartmentalizing feelings. "They can hold on to their emotions and deal with them later." So even if your partner swears he would never cheat, don't assume it can't happen. It's important for both of you to take steps toward creating the relationship you want.

    -77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated. Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: "My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his wife. I guess even the best of us do it." You can't simply ban your husband from hanging out with Mr. Wandering Eyes, but you can request that they spend their time together in an environment that offers less temptation, like at a sporting event or a restaurant for lunch rather than at a bar or club. Another strategy: Build your social circle around happily married couples that share your values -- it'll create an environment that supports marriage.


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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Persephone on Sun 01 Mar 2009, 22:25

    -40% of cheating men met the other woman at work. "Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts. That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home. Luckily, there's a clear warning sign that your husband is getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go up -- and it's time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn't okay at work. Is it acceptable for him to work late if it's only him and her? Can they travel together to conferences? Have dinners out to discuss a project? Ask him what he'd feel comfortable with you doing with a male colleague.

    -Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife. In other words, a man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get lucky with a better-looking body. "
    In most cases, he's cheating to fill an emotional void. "He feels a connection with the other woman, and physical intimacy comes along for the ride." If you're worried about infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on getting your body just right or mastering how to please him physically. (But know that physical intimacy does matter -- it's one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)

    -Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night. Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning signs before infidelity occurs -- you might even see it coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from home, stops asking for physical intimacy, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls. Your gut reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking about cheating, especially if nothing physical has occurred yet. Instead, take charge of what you can control -- your own behavior -- and take the lead in bringing your relationship to a better place. Don't hesitate to show your appreciation for him, prioritize time together, and initiate affection more. Give him a reason to keep you at the front of his mind, be open about how you feel about what's going on between the two of you (again, without mentioning any third parties). Try "I think we've started to lose something important in our relationship, and I don't want it to disappear." In the meantime, commit to keeping tabs on your relationship and doing what it takes to keep it working for you.


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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Guest on Mon 02 Mar 2009, 03:20

    hmmmmm did they do a survey on women who cheat?
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Angelic on Mon 02 Mar 2009, 18:31

    scotty wrote:hmmmmm did they do a survey on women who cheat?

    Men cheat, some alot...but nowadays women too...


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    xxmandyxx
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by xxmandyxx on Mon 02 Mar 2009, 20:37

    yeah but some are cause there not happy at home and dont know how to leave
    but some are just assholes and want to much of a good thing
    i havent not when i was married
    but i have since
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Sera_6969 on Mon 09 Mar 2009, 14:00

    Hmm... There was an interesting study done on the DNA of children born in supposedly monogamous relationships that turned out to be fathered by A. N. Other.

    I'll have to find the correct details but i'm sure it was something like 1 in 5 children were not the progeny of the husband.

    Naughty women!
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Angelic on Thu 07 May 2009, 00:16

    Love is lost somewhere in this cruel world... cheats, lies, divorces is more and more present...is it cause they're not happy or it's never enough?!


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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Guest on Thu 07 May 2009, 03:27

    Angelic wrote:Love is lost somewhere in this cruel world... cheats, lies, divorces is more and more present...is it cause they're not happy or it's never enough?!


    sort of........ but love is not lost just the being the love is attached to is lost in the stress and pressure of the world . it is possible to love more than one at the same time we are human and its how we deal with it that matters.

    just my thoughts
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Angelic on Thu 14 May 2009, 20:26

    Values are messed today, and that's why we have cheats and divorces today...


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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Devilspassion on Thu 21 May 2009, 09:49

    They simply do, it's in their nature
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Persephone on Tue 02 Jun 2009, 19:31

    Stupidity Hmm

    Giggle


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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by mdal on Wed 15 Jul 2009, 06:05

    ...women...
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    Re: What makes men cheat?

    Post by Persephone on Fri 17 Jul 2009, 09:11

    Lmao

    What an excuse! Lmao

    Good one tongue


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