international coucil of man laws

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    international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Sun 07 Jun 2009, 08:27

    1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

    2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
    (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
    (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
    (c) After wrecking your boss's car.
    (d) When she is using her teeth.

    3. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

    4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her...

    5. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden.
    However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

    6. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
    In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

    7. In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

    8. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

    9. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.

    10. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

    11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

    12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

    13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

    14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

    15. Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

    16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

    17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

    18. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

    19. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

    20. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

    21. Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green, yellow, orange or sky blue.

    22. The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!'
    gets an Xbox 360 or a Playstation- End of story.

    23. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

    24. Never wear a man bag to work.

    25. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

    'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
    'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next, fatty!'
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by claudine66 on Sun 07 Jun 2009, 12:45

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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Mon 08 Jun 2009, 11:01

    scotty wrote:
    2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

    (d) When she is using her teeth.

    Be prepared to cry... Mean



    scotty wrote:
    9. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax.
    affraid

    No way!!! Out of question!!! Ever. Issue closed. No way


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by claudine66 on Mon 08 Jun 2009, 11:20

    tanks for add my friends.have a lovely day wish claudine Laughing
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Mon 08 Jun 2009, 11:35

    claudine66 wrote:tanks for add my friends.have a lovely day wish claudine Laughing


    You're welcome, but please stick to the forum rules! Use general chat for that.


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Mon 08 Jun 2009, 18:09

    Angelic wrote:
    scotty wrote:
    2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

    (d) When she is using her teeth.

    Be prepared to cry... Mean



    scotty wrote:
    9. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax.
    affraid

    No way!!! Out of question!!! Ever. Issue closed. No way

    Lmao Lmao Lmao Lmao Lmao

    what i dont understand is your the only one who protested
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Tue 09 Jun 2009, 01:50

    Probably others didn't get time to read it, but who wouldn't??? Not interested


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Tue 09 Jun 2009, 01:59

    you think it needs some fine tuning?
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Tue 09 Jun 2009, 07:39

    Of course I do...a lot of it...


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Thu 18 Jun 2009, 02:23

    well maybe we should sit down and negotiate this ......
    shall we say , over coffee ?......
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Thu 18 Jun 2009, 05:54

    Is there anything to negotiate to? Hmm Or you just want a coffee? Rolling Eyes


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Thu 18 Jun 2009, 09:35

    yea ok you got me .....so?
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Sun 12 Jul 2009, 14:02

    Ok, I accept... first thing I want to add is that men should wear budgie smugglers!


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:04

    hmmmm 2 things where will i keep my keys?.........and nothing will get done cos all the women will be staring and not working ...do you really want that?
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Mon 13 Jul 2009, 01:24

    It's worth dying for.... Lmao Lmao Lmao


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Mon 13 Jul 2009, 03:45

    this is payback for when you let me rule and i declared all women to where bikinis ......isnt it? Not interested

    what if i dont have "budgie smugglers"?
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Mon 13 Jul 2009, 09:10

    No...it's just a sight worth dying for... Lmao

    Then you don't have to wear anything... Rolling Eyes


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Tue 14 Jul 2009, 00:42

    Angelic wrote:

    Then you don't have to wear anything... Rolling Eyes

    Shocked ang!! well i never Laughing
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Tue 14 Jul 2009, 07:22

    scotty wrote: Shocked ang!! well i never Laughing

    You don't??? Woot Woot Woot


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Sun 19 Jul 2009, 09:00

    We always hear rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
    (whose gonna give me a growling first?)

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
    ON PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtlehints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by izy19 on Sun 19 Jul 2009, 18:31

    scotty wrote:
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    Lmao Lmao Lmao
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Mon 20 Jul 2009, 08:41

    scotty wrote:
    (whose gonna give me a growling first?)




    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtlehints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that


    If we give you a growling, would it be worth the effort at all? Would you hear what we say?
    angry

    And all these laws above - NOT ACCEPTABLE!!! No way


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Mon 20 Jul 2009, 08:53

    Angelic wrote:


    If we give you a growling, would it be worth the effort at all? Would you hear what we say?
    angry

    And all these laws above - NOT ACCEPTABLE!!! No way

    and yet your still first to growl me............. Lmao Lmao
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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Angelic on Mon 20 Jul 2009, 08:56

    Iz is still young, she needs to learn to say NO to men and to their nonsense...


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    Re: international coucil of man laws

    Post by Guest on Mon 20 Jul 2009, 08:58

    ahhahahahaa i wonderred if you were watching

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